August 16, 2011   781 notes

The Best Things In The World

thefrenemy:

  • Finally removing all the shit from your room that has piled on the floor and you say ‘oh look I put the underwear in the underwear DRAWER’ and then thinking you have accomplished something like not having your room look like a crime scene. Seriously, your room looks like a crime…
  • Finally removing all the shit from your room that has piled on the floor and you say ‘oh look I put the underwear in the underwear DRAWER’ and then thinking you have accomplished something like not having your room look like a crime scene. Seriously, your room looks like a crime scene where Horatio from CSI is going to be all ‘looks like this pile of laundry is a pile of DEAD GIRL’ and then removes his glasses as the Who screams
  • The moment when the waitress is like ‘oh here is your food’ and you have a fresh pile of burger fries on your place and you smell the delicious aroma of the food before you dive into it like a cow of the sea
  • Warm towels. Oh no, this isn’t just a REGULAR towel this is a WARM HOT towel and it smells like the creepy Downy bear isn’t going to stab your eyes out, he’s going to grin at you with this field scented towel now
  • Paying your bills on time and realizing you have enough money to buy a sandwich or even live another day in a city that charges you fifty bucks for breathing 
  • Drunk Brunch
  • When you try a dress on in the dressing room with the unforgiving florescent lights and it’s like ‘oh great, when did my body turn into Rihanna I’m going to just shake my ass all over this dressing room now’
  • having a sibling moment because they’ve seen you at your absolute worst and your best and you can punch them in the head and they probably won’t sue you
  • The late night text message from exactly who you want to hear from
  • A kiss from two characters on a TV show who you have wanted to see kiss for SO LONG and there they are just making out to some Sia music or something and you’re like ‘oh boy my life is boring but at least these two fake people are happy’
  • Liking somebody before they do anything to destroy your heart
  • When the cute dog on the street corner doesn’t bite your hand when you try and pet it like the ravaged Cujo you know it really is
  • Drunk making out. Oh come on, it’s great! Sure, you’ll wake up in the morning and hate all that has lead up to this moment in your life, but fuck it you don’t wear heels for your health!
  • Turning the radio on and it’s the same song you love what am I PSYCHIC OF THE RADIO
  • Friends that are just the best people, not even people you want to dry hump or make out with, they’re just awesome people you are lucky to have in your life NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT SEX OKAY
  • Turning off your phone for a day
  • Waking up an hour before your alarm goes off and you get to roll around
  • Breakfast sandwiches, the goddess of all food, the food that kisses your hangover softly away
  • That one memory of that one best kiss ever, the one with all the trees and the ambience and shit and it reminds you of how old people must feel during “Everybody Loves Raymond”
  • When your mom buys you lunch so you are allowed to get the soft shell crab BLT or something else stupidly expensive and you just wear your casual but appropriate button-down and grin like a madman
  • A good pen, usually a gel pen
  • When somebody fights on the street and you get to watch the WHOLE THING GO DOWN and you’re like ‘oh shit!’ and text all your friends
  • Realizing you will never be Snookie from Jersey Shore, even though you sometimes want to wear those little dresses she wears because you suspect they might flatter your shoulders
  • The first sunny day after a whole lot of rain, if you want to take that as a metaphor you can you weirdo
  • Reading poetry that doesn’t sound like a bowl of mush and a an overly heavy Bukowski influence
  • Actually, the smell of all books
  • Finding money in your shorts, because you never wash your shorts and this is exactly why THIS IS EXACTLY WHY IT IS FOR THIS QUARTER
  • playing with little kids who don’t tattle like the little shits they can be because some kids tattle and they really suck, but these kids just let you play with their toys and you pretend like you don’t really want to dress up this Polly Pocket but you so do!
  • making a little fort in your room by preparing a cup of tea with whiskey and a handful of chips and a movie you really want to watch, yeah you might never leave I don’t care let them find your carcass this is ME TIME
  • any time you exhibit some form of self-control! Miracles!
  • Whenever Mean Girls is on TV and you get to spend the whole day being like ‘oh shit why did I ever do anything else but watch Janis Ian be so incredibly awesome in this cinematic masterpiece’
  • getting into somebody’s car and driving somebody really far and just singing really stupid songs like the Spice Girls and just whipping your dumb little hand out the window even though your mom told you the story of how that chops people’s hands off
  • Arrested Development on DVD and Jason Bateman being the perfect man for you in all seasons
  • Those days you feel absolutely happy and optimistic for no fucking reason at all
  • Perfect temperatures
  • When your grandma slips money in your pocket and you use that money to buy all the booze but tell her it’s for a BARBIE
  • remembering how stupid you were in high school and how you might not be that lame anymore, or at least not sing a capella and wear creepy weird denim skirts
  • Doing something nice for somebody and realize you’re not just a shitty grumpy crab living at the bottom of the sea
  • Any and all vacations, because saying ‘fuck it’ and getting a tan is the healthiest thing a crazy person like you can do
  • A fresh piece of paper
  • Buying a new pair of boots
  • REVENGE SERVED HOT OR COLD
  • Easy Mac. I mean, come on. That is the perfect food and you just shut the fuck up and you eat that delicious mess
  • When your hair doesn’t look like somebody put a helmet around your head all day and said ‘oh good let’s just frizz this bitch up because you look great with cowlicks’
  • When you make somebody genuinely laugh at something you said and you smile like ‘yeah, I’m fucking hilarious I know that’
  • A high five that turns out pretty well, even though high fives kind of suck
  • Louis CK
  • A new razor for shaving your legs and it’ll be so nice and smooth and maybe you’ll get your shit together and moisturize
  • Telling somebody how you genuinely feel about them and they don’t shove a stick up your ass and throw you off a river bend
  • Taking a cab for once
  • Disney movies because if you don’t like that you don’t have a soul to stand on
  • A Thursday night on a week you know the weekend is packed full of good shit
  • Being happy. Just being fucking happy because there is so much awesome stuff in the world and you’re not going to be a crappy sad sack who says ” I HATE EVERYTHING” for once in your life

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